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Was I among the people that followed you, or did I ignore your teachings?

Did I watch you heal the blind man, or did I discredit your miracles?

Did I see you walking and follow the masses, or did I go the opposite way?

Did I reach out to touch you, or did I stay away?

Did I plead for your release, or did I deny you?

Did I watch as they beat you and placed a crown of thorns on your brow, or did I close my eyes?

Was I at the cross, watching you slowly die, or did I stay home?

Did I come to the tomb with spices for your body, or did I forget you had died?

Did I mourn and forget you would return, or did I continue my sin-filled life?

Did I watch you ascend into the Heavens, and did I finally believe? 

Who was I? 

Who would I have been?

- Who would you have been? 

We all like to think we would have been the most faithful follower, standing up for Jesus, no matter what would come our way? 

One way to know who you would have been is to ask yourself:

Who am I now?

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Most will say, “At least you have those beautiful memories,” and I am so thankful that mine are good ones.

BUT, the pain that comes with remembering how it was, and will never be again, is sometimes unbearable.  Not to mention, how it all ended. It can take my breath away, if I let it. 

I make a conscious choice each day to remember the smiles, the laughter, the embrace, the warmth. I don’t have to remember the love because it never left. It remains.

Most will say, “At least you have those beautiful memories.” 
#hope #grief #theoboyd #thinktheo #learningtolive

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I am still searching for this piano. It belonged to the Bethel Bible Church. I was told the pastor gave it away.  He doesn’t remember who he gave it to. 

If you know of anyone or have seen a piano that looks like this one, please let me know. I am offering a reward for the piano.  It has the name “Beth” lightly scratched above middle C. 

I am still looking for better pictures.

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You can’t prepare for a broken heart. In a world where we plan and predict every part of our lives, we cannot prevent heartbreak.  It’s impossible. 

It’s been almost seven years since I felt my heart break completely in half. I was 47 years old.  Up until that day in 2019, I had experienced  several small breaks, although at the time, they didn’t feel so small. 

My world quickly fell apart in the years after, separating the pieces of my heart so far apart that I was certain they could never be put back together. 

It hasn’t been a miraculous healing journey. No, it’s hard every single day. Not an hour passes that I’m not thinking of how it could have been. But, I move forward.

On this earth, my heart will never be whole again, but it is mending. The pieces have been brought back together, but the cracks are still there. I feel them with each remembrance. 

I know that God has a plan for good in all things. (Romans 8:28) One day, I will ask why He couldn’t prevent my heartbreak, but by then, I’ll already know. 

How do I move forward each day with a broken heart?  I pray for strength, I lean on friends, and I focus on the HOPE that God has given us in His son, Jesus.  I know that Jesus loves me and that one day my heart with be completely whole again, no breaks, no pain. 

You can’t prepare for a broken heart, but you can BE prepared for eternity by knowing the one who can make it whole again. #hope #heartbreak #theoboyd #mygriefisnotlikeyours #thinktheo

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This happens several times a day - the memory of you.  The curtains go down, and the play begins. I remember the last hug, the last wave as I drove away, and the last “I love you” whispered in my ear. 

So many things may come and go, but love is the one true constant. ❤️ 

#theoboyd #griefbooks #thinktheo #love  #memories #Grief #authors #hope #mygriefisnotlikeyours #loveremains #hopealltheway

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